She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
