matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
