I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
