Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
