Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
