i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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