If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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