We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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