i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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