i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
