Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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