oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
