everyone is single if you try hard enough
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You ruined the universe
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
