So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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