No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
