I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
