I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
