This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
