Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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