Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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