Your tits are I can't wait for
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
