So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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