Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
