oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
