No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
