just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
