He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
