He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Vodka?
Forever.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
this is an emotional support booty call
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
