My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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