We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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