I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
