Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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