He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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