am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
