I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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