Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
