She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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