come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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