I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
