i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
