I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
