i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
