I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
