Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
