dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
