Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You can't motorboat a personality
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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