Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
