I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize