what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
