im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
