she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
