i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
